#selfhelp

Seasons of Love: Self-love practices through periods of change

/ Freya Bishop / 2 Comments

Greetings, Friends! (:

I thought for a while about the topic for my next entry and felt like it was appropriate, with Valentine’s Day being tomorrow, to compose an entry about self-love and self-care. We can all be better for ourselves and after all, love begins with establishing a sense of self.

Whether you are ‘celebrating’ Valentine’s Day as a single person or as a taken lover, the tips within this entry will help anyone and everyone who wishes to open themselves up to healing.

  • Plus, this healing is ongoing and is not limited to a day where people buy stuff for each other to proclaim their affections towards each other.

If you would have asked me 10 to 15 years ago if I loved myself, I would have straight up said, “no.” From when I was in the 5th grade, in elementary school, I battled an aggressive eating disorder along with body dysmorphia and that lasted well into my late twenties. It took many years of working on myself to re-calibrate my mind and learn to appreciate me for who and what I am. At 37 years old, I cannot say that I have cracked the code on how to love thy self, but I have learned incredible lessons along the journey of coming home to myself.

As the seasons change and as we age, growing wiser with each passing year, we become more in tune with ourselves. We being developing a taste for what our soul hungers for and do what we must to have more of what we crave in our lives. The bottom line is that we all deserve to find happiness. If you are a magickal practitioner, it’s normal to get swept away by life and get carried away from our practices and rituals. They help cement a solid foundation for us and create that stability. When we come back to ourselves, man, does it feel wonderful to come back home.

  • And on a personal note: this is where I am in my healing journey.
    • I am finding an appreciation to do actions from my heart and the result is profound joy.

Here are some of my tips and rituals to help benefit those who have an open heart and wish to heal:

1.) Put on a happy face:

Fran Drescher, one of my all-time idols, once said in an episode of “The Nanny” that “When you look good, you feel good.” She was definitely onto something quite awe inspiring!

  • For me, part of my beauty ritual is to put on my rose water toner and massage my face with a Rose Quartz roller.
    • Then, I will put on some moisturizer, some make-up, spritz on my favorite perfume (Givenchy’s L’Interdit or Amarige for those curious) and put a few pieces of jewelry from my ‘Tiffany & Company’ collection.
      • I am dolling myself up for me, despite working from home each day.
  • I also will take a moment, in the mirror to look at myself and will smile to myself.
    • Back in the day, THIS task was difficult for me to do.
      • When you are learning how to love yourself, it’s daunting to look at yourself in the mirror and smile at yourself. It takes time, practice, patience and an open heart.
  • To add an element of witchcraft into this practice, all of my makeup and my RQ roller are cleansed and charged under the moon.
    • Certain intentions have been set for each beauty item that I will use as well.
      • It adds power and intention!
  • My favorite beauty item is my lipstick and lately, I have been playing with different hues. I am known for wearing a bold red lip and have adopted a soft pink/coral into my makeup bag. I wear lipstick all day long and have gotten to a point where, “A girl can’t (fill in the blank) that sort of thing without her lipstick.”
    • A wee nod to my favorite actress, Audrey Hepburn who played Holly Golightly in “Breakfast At Tiffany’s.“

Being able to get myself ready for the day helps me feel better and more productive. I feel like I can conquer anything that is thrown in my lap throughout the day. It gives me confidence!

2.) Drink out of a fancy glass when you eat, just because you can:

My grandmother has a closet full of Waterford crystal and I was lucky to inherit some pieces from her collection. I adore using a champagne flute and a goblet when I prepare a meal for myself.

  • Why wait for a special occasion to drink out of a beautiful glass?
    • I never understood why these beautiful glasses will sit, upon a shelf, in a cabinet, collecting dust and not be used… ever. They deserve to be used and appreciated!
      • Celebrate each moment within your life, even the smallest of moments– they count too!

It has become a ritual to break out my special glass and use it whenever I cook a meal for myself: whether it’s breakfast or dinner, it allows me to appreciate the cooking that I have done and savor it.

Here’s my wee blessing for you, my Dear Friend: I toast to you! May you always appreciate and value yourself! Celebrate you on this day. May your goblet be hydrating and full and as you drink from it, may it replenish your spirit! Slàinte Mhath!

3.) Create a ‘feel good’ playlist!:

Music is the ultimate connector of souls and the healer of wounds.

Within my studio and in my home, music is a constant force within it. Whether it’s Billy Joel, Enya or Mozart, having music dance around my living space is beautiful. I even created a playlist for when I am putting on my ‘happy face’ in the morning. It makes all the difference in the world.

Get creative and make a playlist! You can make one for just about anything. For myself, I have playlists that are dedicated to: meditations, Avalon-inspired music, rituals, songs that get in touch with my inner-witch, music for when I am composing my book- the list goes on!

Creating a playlist will help motivate you to do what you wish or need to get done.

4.) Adopt a self-care practice:

This year, one of my goals was to learn how to tend to my nails– both hands and feet. Each week, I tend to them and can say that it’s been a fun experience to learn how to care of them. I now have a new appreciation for my hands.

Other self-care practices that you could incorporate would be journaling, meditating, exercising, Reiki treatments, taking baths, cooking healthier meals, get a weekly or monthly massage, craft a magickal simmer pot (I love these!), take a yoga class.

The sky is the limit! Be bold and adventure into different ways that you can care for yourself. Remember, you are worthy and deserving of this! Caring for yourself and making that time is important. You need it.

5.) Candle Magick:

Pink is the color of love– love of self and love of another.

In my studio, I like to burn a dressed pink candle to remind myself that I am worth that love and its energies that I am manifesting. Sometimes, we forget that and this is a great way to remind yourself that you are deserving of the love that you wish for.

6.) Daily mantras and affirmations:

I started adopting this into my practice several years ago and I found this to be quite profound. For this ritual, you’d stand in front of your mirror and speak to yourself, from the heart.

Some mantras and affirmations that you can use… and you can create your own as well:

  • I am healing myself.
  • I am beautiful and worthy of love.
  • I am a radiant being.
  • I love myself.
  • I am worthy of success and greatness.
  • I deserve to be happy.
  • The life that I dream of is within my reach.

7.) Buy yourself flowers:

If Miley Cyrus taught us anything last year with her Grammy winning hit song “Flowers” it was that we can buy our own darn flowers and love ourselves, unapologetically.

Why wait for someone else to buy them? Personally, I think it’s rot. I find it lovely and empowering to buy them for myself (especially if I am going to be working with them, magickally).

If you have a lovely vase to put them in to admire, even better! AND when you are finished admiring your roses, if you are a fan of roses, that is, you can make Rose Water, my favorite magickal water!

8.) Take yourself out for a date:

It could be a cup of coffee, which happens to be my favorite date, especially when I have a book or a tarot deck in hand. You can even take yourself out to the beach or park. Spend the day being outside with yourself, enjoying your life.

9.) The Healing Energies of Crystals:

In my previous entry, I covered some of the magickal properties and uses of this powerful crystal. Rose Quartz is a powerhouse crystal and it can help someone who is struggling with low self-esteem.

Here’s that entry for those who are curious:

Crystal series- Rose Quartz
And sure, this can open up the door to working with other amazing crystals and believe me, you will expand on your collection in no time! Maybe part of your self-love and self-care practice is to gift yourself a new crystal every now and then! (:

When working with crystals, just make sure that you cleanse and charge them regularly, especially if you are going to be wearing them daily as jewelry or carrying them on you.

10.) Burn shit up:

My cauldron is my sacred tool. When I need to release energies and tension, I light it on fire and create a ritual out of it.

11.) Craft a sacred bath:

As a Water Witch, I gather strength and find solace within the healing element of the water. I enjoy infusing my bath water with fresh rose petals, sprigs of rosemary and other herbal/floral additions that I fancy. Before stepping into the water, I will give the water Reiki to infuse the water with healing energies and with each ingredient, I will continue to infuse Reiki energy into the tub.

On days when I am feeling quite drained, I will do this. When I step out of the tub, I am refreshed and invigorated.

To the Anti-Valentine’s Day Souls:

Now, if you are someone who is against Valentine’s Day as a whole entity, I am right there right you. We all have our reasons for disliking the day and yes, it brings up traumas for different people.

In fact, I will share with you a personal story that not too many people know about me and my family:

Valentine’s Day has been somewhat of a cursed day within my family. My grandfather passed away on Valentine’s Day and growing up, children in elementary/grade school were quite cruel to me on this horrid ‘holiday’. I was avoided at all costs by the majority of my classmates and rumors about how ‘if Freya had a Valentine, you’d die just like her grandfather’ circulated throughout the school and the hallways. Goddess forbid if I had a crush and attempted to give him a Valentine… I was ridiculed in front of the entire class– and that happened, twice! I avoided the day throughout my entire life (including my adult life) but this year, I plan on celebrating the day a wee bit differently.

In my life, I have two people who I love more than anything in the world: my child and my grandmother. We have adventures each day and show our love for each other all day long. Our love is not limited to one day of the year, it is ongoing! On Valentine’s Day, we plan on having a wee party. I am going to make a strawberry cake, some heart cookies and we’ll have some ice cream floats. Maybe I will make a heart shaped pizza too!

I want to teach my child that we show our affections and appreciations constantly towards the ones that we love, not just a day marketed to people to buy a bunch of flowers and candy.

  • Since my child is the next generation, and I do not want my trauma of a stupid, silly holiday passing onto them, it’s important for me to be better and to teach my child about what the day represents.
  • We will also talk a wee bit about my grandfather, their great-grandfather.
    • I have some pictures that I have pulled out that I will show them.
    • Later on, we will light a candle for my grandfather.

Self-love practices are ongoing and we will cultivate different modalities of healing as we go through life. Sure, it’s normal to get discouraged, at times, but never forget that you are worthy of this time. Like with many things in life, this is a practice and you’ll get the hang of it. I believe in you ❤

Sending you much love!

FB.

Crystal series- Rose Quartz

/ Freya Bishop / 1 Comment

Good day to you, Friends! I hope that you are doing well and that you are having a wonderful day, as always.

A new addition that I wanted to add into my blog was to compose a “Crystal series.” This week, we will be learning about “Rose Quartz“- the stone of love and healing of the heart. Each week, I will be posting about a specific crystal and the entry will include:

  • How to utilize it in you everyday life.
  • It’s uses and magickal properties.
  • Other useful information.

Let’s get to it (:

While working in Salem, MA, it was evident that this crystal was one that was hard to keep on the shelves. Rose Quartz is associated with matters of the heart. There were many times when love struck individuals would come into the shoppe, searching for a candle that would bring a lover back to them and upon reading the description of what a tumbled ‘Rose Quartz’ could do, the stone would get snatched up and added to an order. Personally, I find that this crystal can be utilized in many ways than just ‘love’, so let’s hop into it:

  • I have always described Rose Quartz as a ‘warm blanket that you have just taken out of the dryer and wrapped around yourself.’ It wraps you up in a blanket of love!
    • If you are someone who is struggling with self-image, self-love, confidence, battling an eating disorder or anything else that requires an instant “pick me up”, Rose Quartz can help heal your heart and find that love to have for yourself.
      • Personal story: When I was in recovery of my Eating Disorder many, many years ago, a close friend gave me a piece of Rose Quartz to remind me to ‘heal with grace.’
        • This crystal, from my own personal experience, works wonders and can support with that healing!
    • It will absorb the hurt or disappointment that you maybe feeling and replaces those feelings with peace, love and healing.
  • Rose Quartz will gently open your heart to love, especially if you have been through a break up.
  • Rose Quartz can help us embrace kindness, compassion, learn how to trust our hearts and find the bravery to trust in others again.
  • Rose Quartz reminds us that love is all around you! Whether it is the love of friends, family, your animal companions, there is love to be celebrated.
  • Yes, Rose Quartz can assist with bringing in a lover into your life– but be careful– you want the partner that will best match your frequencies and be the best match for you.
  • If you are experience a death in your family and are grieving, Rose Quartz can help soothe your heart:
    • As a Death Doula/Midwife, there has been plenty of times when I would gift families tumbled Rose Quartz crystals for them as they navigated their grief.
  • With regards to physical heart health issues, Rose Quartz assists with strengthening and balancing the heart:
    • It assist with better blood circulation and flow and can assist with high blood pressure.
      • Personal story: Whenever I am stressed out, I tend to feel “it” a lot in my chest. With my family’s history of Heart health issues, I am very careful with these concerns.
        • I will meditate and or wear a piece of Rose Quartz over my heart to absorb that anxious/stressful energy. For me, it helps tremendously.

You can either wear Rose Quartz as a piece of jewelry (bracelets, pendant, ring, earrings). Crystals like to be worn skin-to-skin and be close to you. If that’s not your cup of tea, you can always have it around your home, bedroom or your workspace.

I have a Rose Quartz sphere in my studio and whenever I look at it, I am immediately reminded to be gentle with myself and show myself a little bit of appreciation.

  • Note: If you are going to wear your jewelry pieces, remember to cleanse them regularly. They tend to absorb more energies the more that they are worn. Like a battery, they need to be charged and cleansed (:

With Rose Quartz, I love cleansing it with incense smoke or bathing it under cool water. During the Full Moon, I will leave it out for it to absorb the Moon’s rays and to charge.

*Disclaimer: Crystal healing is a wonderful healing modality to add into your practices but should NEVER take the place of medical care and intervention. If you are experiencing a true and real medical problem, please speak to your doctor!

I am sure that as I continue to think of other properties and magickal uses for Rose Quartz, I will add them to here. I hope that you enjoyed this entry! I cannot wait for next week’s crystal– I am between two crystals to discuss next week… but I will allow that to be a surprise!

Until then,

FB.

2024– The Come-Back Year!

/ Freya Bishop / Leave a comment

Happy New Year, My Friends! I do know about you, but 2023 has been a year of struggles and rising from the ashes for me. Between having emergency surgery (and almost losing my own life) in July to having family struggles, I am waving good-bye to one of the hardest years of my life. Though, upon reflecting on it, 2023 did teach me how resilient I am. So, that’s a blessing and if I have learned anything, it is to count your blessings! (:

Last night, in the wake of welcoming in this glorious New Year, I was preparing myself for weeks to welcome in the New Year properly! I gathered each herb and artifact that I was to use and kept it safe in my studio, away from tainted energies. I thought it would be appropriate to share some of my magickal tips and rituals! In the past, I have done several different things: between cooking and baking to burning a list of what I was leaving behind in the previous year. Whatever works for you, you do! There is no wrong way to do it! The rituals and magickal practices that I am listing are ones that I have done last night and wanted to share with you! Perchance, these rituals may kindle a fire in someone to inspire one to try…and may even help someone (:

1.) Save your laundry (and dishes) for January 2nd!: Okay, so I will admit, I am being a wee bit superstitious about New Years after what I endured last year, but I started off my 2023 by doing several loads of laundry and dishes. Legends and superstitions claim the following:

  • When it comes to laundry and dishes, you do not want to wash away good luck or good fortune. You may potentially sweep away upcoming money.
  • There is also a superstition that you may potentially wash away a loved one.  

2.) Blow Cinnamon through your front door: Cinnamon is a power-house spice that you can find in any grocery store! It is used in rituals involving money, protection, prosperity, good luck and abundance workings. A ritual that I started to do after my surgery is on the first of the month, I blow cinnamon through my front door and into my home.

  • I keep a jar of cinnamon by my front door that I have blessed it specifically for blessing my home on the first of the month. I will charge it under the Full Moon’s rays to ensure that it is working to its full potential.

3.) Create a Manifestation Jar: My favorite ritual! In my personal jar, I have money/abundance/prosperity drawing herbs, coins, and other personal magickal items to open doors for opportunities! The intention as you are constructing this is to think about what you wish to manifest.

As I created mine, I lit incense, listened to joyful and uplifting music and I wrote from my heart. That is the true essence of magick– when you craft from your heart, you are in true alignment with your soul and its desires.

The herbs that I used are the following:

  • Tonka beans.
  • Cinnamon sticks.
  • Orange slices with anise stars glued onto them.
  • Allspice berries (though you can use ground!)
  • Whole Nutmeg (you can use ground!)
  • Patchouli.
  • Yellow mustard seeds.
  • Crushed rosemary.
  • Bay leaves to write your wishes on.

Before closing it, I breathed life into it and spoke to it. Each day, give it a little shake and speak to it. Remember, this is your hopes and dreams… and the intention is to allow it to come to life!

I also lit a green chime candle to fuel my spell.

4.) “Out with the old, in with the new.”: In Irish folklore, what I have read (and have done this every year for decades) is that at Midnight, you open up your back door/window and allow the old/precious year to exit. Then, you open the front door.

Over the years, I tweaked it:

  • I open my back door at 11:59PM and visualize the year and all of the hardships that I endured, escaping my home. Usually, I burn incense– it adds a degree of ritual and this is what that is!
  • At midnight, I open my front door and allow the New Year’s air to whip through my home in a cleansing sweep.

I go through my home, with smoke and will cleanse my home. Then, give my floors a lovely wash.

(Yes, this is all done at Midnight.)

5.) Don’t forget to ring in the New Year!: Take out your bells, whistles, pots and pans! Make noise! Yell, shout! Have joy and hope for a brand new slate! My family “rang” in the New Year at Midnight and it was wonderful!

6.) New Year’s Simmer Pot: I simply adore simmer pots! I plan on making on later this afternoon! It’s a great way to fill the house with a divine scent and you can magickally craft it. You can use whatever you have in your cupboard, depending upon what it is.

For my simmer pot, I will be using the following ingredients:

  • Cinnamon sticks.
  • Orange slices.
  • Frozen cranberries.
  • Rosemary.
  • Sunflower petals from my garden.
  • Calendula petals.
  • Bay leaves with intentions, written on each individual leaf.

7.) Burn a candle to light the way into a better tomorrow: Colors have power and intention. I mentioned a green chime candle but I also lit an additional green candle in my home. Green is the color that represents money, prosperity, healing, balance, peace, tranquility and hope!

8.) Dress for what you want to manifest: Piggy-backing on what I said about colors, for New Years, wear red for good luck and/or green for prosperity and abundance! I took it a step further (:

  • I wore one of my older Salem sweatshirts, that represents my home- a place that I will be moving back to… a place that my Ancestors have lived and died– my roots! I also wore my most colorful Finfolk mermaid leggings!
  • For my child, I dressed them in ‘Spiderman’ Pj’s: Spiderman is strong, brave, courageous, honest, helpful and a faithful and loyal friend. I wanted my child to emulate those treasured characteristics and embrace them in 2024!

Tonight, we will be doing the same thing! I have on my Finfolk mermaid leggings called ‘Sanderson’s spell’ which has colors of red and gold, perfect for ringing in the new year! And my child will be wearing Buzz Lightyear PJ’s!

My Friends, this is our year– it’s our come-back year! May all of your dreams come true. I wish you all great health, flowing of abundance and to be surrounded by those that bring your heart great joy.

Much love. Until next time.

-FB.

Shadow work: Advice for my younger self.

/ Freya Bishop / Leave a comment

Take two! Mercury Retrograde is in full swing over in this house. I had an entire entry composed and I was attempting to submit it… but WordPress was having “technical issues.” I lost the entire entry! 😖 Note to self: as I compose future entries, save along the way!

Anyway, I am back at it again to write this entry because I feel like this will benefit someone out there who will potentially read this one day, maybe.

As we are approaching the Autumn season (if you haven’t gathered, I am all about that Autumnal Magick), I tend to turn into the Hermit and do a lot of shadow work. Shadow work is an important work to integrate into your craft. Does it suck? Yes. Is it beneficial for our healing? Yes. Shadow work helps us to appreciate our darker selves while bringing to light what we need to work on within ourselves. Something that has been coming up a lot for me is, “What advice would I bestow upon my younger self if I had the opportunity to do it?” This past weekend, I have been making notations and these were my discoveries.

I submit these to you as well, Dear Reader, in the hopes that perhaps that they maybe of a comfort to you as well. Here goes nothing.

  1. Be true to yourself.
  2. Follow that internal beat of the drum within your soul. That’s your heart, guiding you along your journey.
  3. Laugh, a lot, even if it’s at yourself. Laughter is the best medicine in times of great distress. It makes your soul smile.
  4. Don’t forget to smile. A smile is contagious and can light up the room!
  5. Don’t be afraid to say ‘no.’ It’s your strongest boundary.
  6. Love. Love, to love. And don’t be afraid of it. As the late Jonathan Larson said, “share love, give love, spread love.” He knew the message.
  7. Your body is beautiful! Love those curves, dimples, hips! Give your body some extra love because it deserves it. Cherish it.
  8. Wear whatever the fuck you want. Don’t wear clothes to fit your body! Wear clothes that make your body look and feel amazing.
  9. Self-care is not being selfish. It’s an act of self-love.
  10. Invest in yourself because you are worth it. And let’s face it, not too many people will invest in you if you don’t have the confidence to invest in you.
  11. Take that chance… that ‘leap of faith’ could be your saving grace.
  12. Failure happens. It will teach you about how resilient you are. And the come back, especially when others do not think you will pull through and succeed, is delicious!
  13. Follow and listen to your intuition. It is always right.
  14. You see the world through a unique lens and the way that you gather messages is your unique way. No one has the right to diminish that ability.
  15. Do not give anyone the power to take away your voice or your power. Once you do, it’ll take you a life time of struggling and fighting to get it back.
  16. If you close a door and walk away from someone or something, good– keep it closed. Don’t open it. People don’t change.
  17. Words are just that, words. Actions have more credibility.
  18. Believe in yourself.
  19. Love yourself.
  20. “Heal with Grace.”
  21. It is never too late to study something new or try new things. Go for it!
  22. Eat the best that you can, exercise and take care of your body. In this life time, you only get one vessel.
  23. You are never too young or too old to learn something new.
  24. Never be afraid of walking away from something or someone that doesn’t bring you happiness, especially if it’s not healthy.
  25. Starting over can look and feel scary but it’s also refreshing. It’s a re-do, a fresh slate!
  26. Crying is not a sign of weakness. It’s a powerful release.
  27. Cursing does not make you less of a lady. It just means that you have a colorful vocabulary.
  28. You cannot please everyone nor is everyone you meet going to like you. And that’s fine. Be the radiant, bad ass, amazing person that you are and own the shit out of it.
    • To further my point: there are 46 flavors of Häagen-Dazs’ ice cream, did you know that? Some flavors you will like… others, you won’t. The same can be said about people.
  29. “Breathe in peace, breathe out bullshit.”
  30. Not everything is “love and light” and if someone tries to convince you that it is, they are delusional. Run, don’t walk.

So far, that’s my list… (: